Dear Neurodivergent Entrepreneur

 I’m currently working with an expansion coach. She’s phenomenal - confident, knowledgeable, powerful and totally aligned with my spiritual values.

 I think all great coaches are expansive—they guide us to expand—but this one is actually called an ‘expansion coach’ and no surprise—I’m looking to expand—in every area of my life. 

 I already have an extraordinary life. It’s vibrant, meaningful and abundant and I’m keen to explore what more might be waiting for me out there in our wonderful world.

 (I’ve worked with coaches throughout my career and I wouldn’t be successful without my continued commitment to personal growth and development.)

Last week she prompted me to reflect on a crucial question: How am I limiting my own potential and staying small in my business? 

 This inquiry isn’t new to me, but it's one that I haven't deeply explored for myself in some time, despite regularly considering it for my clients.

 I wonder if there’s a bit of a misunderstanding about being an ND businesswoman and what our business goals and dreams might look like? 

The Power of Quiet Ambition: Embracing Your Strengths as a Neurodivergent Entrepreneur

I’m a quiet woman. When I’m completely unmasksed, I speak softly, I don’t talk unless I have something worth saying, and I revel in silence. 

My quietude may lead some to underestimate the scale of my aspirations, but my dreams are as vast and powerful as anyone’s.

While I may not shout about my ambitions, they burn brightly. Beneath my calm surface lies passion, creativity, and determination

And while others may mistake my quiet nature for a lack of ambition, I know better, and I’m guessing you do too?

In a world that mostly equates success with being loud and outspoken, it might feel like our quieter nature might hold us back in business and entrepreneurship, but it’s our greatest strength.

Our tendency to listen more than we speak allows us to absorb insights and ideas others miss. Our thoughtful communication style ensures that when we do speak up, our words carry weight. Our comfort with silence gives us the space to think deeply, analyse complex problems, and devise innovative solutions.

Yes, we’re neurodivergent and we have different needs to neurotypicals, but we mustn’t let the false narrative of ‘less than’ affect our hopes, ambitions, and behaviour.

Confronting the Uncomfortable: Recognising and Overcoming Limiting Patterns

It can feel a bit icky to face ourselves. As I delved deep into my coach’s question I realised there were and are areas in my business where I’m playing small. I thought:: Wow, I’m still doing this shit, Im still acting from a place of the wounded little girl - at least in a couple of areas.

So it feels icky but it’s great to be aware of what’s going on down there in our subconscious. Once we’re aware we can do something about it.

And we don’t need to beat ourselves up about still being influenced by unhelpful patterns. Childhood and societal conditioning are strong, and in all honesty, I’m not sure we can ever be fully free of it. 

But we’re no longer wounded little girls happy to accept breadcrumbs—emotionally, spiritually, financially—we’re grown women who deserve the very best life has to offer and we can rejig our thoughts and energy to reflect this.

The Far-Reaching Consequences of Playing Small in Your Business

Because, when we play and stay small in our businesses (offering us a false sense of safety) the effects are profound and far-reaching.

It limits our financial growth and stability. By not speaking up, not advocating for ourselves, and not pursuing opportunities that challenge us, we find ourselves stuck in a cycle of underearning and unfulfilling work. We may watch as others in our field surge ahead, wondering why we can't seem to break through to the next level.

If we consistently hold ourselves back, we begin to internalise the belief that we’re not capable or deserving of success. We may feel Imposter Syndrome, waiting for someone to catch us out. 

Over time, the weight of these emotions—self-doubt, anxiety, and sometimes depression— chip away at our confidence and motivation. We may start to question whether we have what it takes to make it in the business world. 

We probably feel isolated and alone, convinced that no one else understands our struggles.

But perhaps the most upsetting effect of staying small is the way it can disconnect us from our own intuition and sense of purpose. 

When we're constantly second-guessing ourselves and trying to fit into a mould that doesn't align with our nature, we lose touch with the very qualities that make us unique and valuable.

It’s a vicious cycle: the more we stay small, the more we doubt ourselves, and the more we doubt ourselves, the more we feel compelled to stay small. 

Overcoming Fear and Limiting Beliefs: A Personal Journey of Growth

I’m saying all of this because this was and is me—it’s all of us—at different stages in our journey.

Early on in my coaching career, it took another coach to let me know that I was hiding in my business, out of fear. I had only one small black-and-white photo of myself on my website. 

She explained it might be difficult for people to get a real sense of who I am and therefore be able to trust me enough to employ me. I was shocked. She was SO right. 

I’d been a wellness journalist, used to creating reams of content, but it wasn’t the done thing to put a photo of yourself on your work. Limiting beliefs and thoughts flooded in:

• It’s weird and vain to display loads of photos of yourself. I don’t want anyone to think I’m weird.

• I’ll look fat/fake/old/unfashionable.

• What will those I went to school with think?

• Who do I think I am?

What did I do? 

I did what I always do. Asked myself a very important question. Are these thoughts/beliefs more important than being a successful coach? The answer is always no.

I got some professional photos taken. I hated them I but posted them on my site anyway. 

Then, I took it one step further. 

Years ago, while studying for my Journalism Master's, we had a mandatory TV studio day where we were required to interview a celebrity on the presenting couch. The thought filled me with dread. I couldn't sleep the night before, and during the interview, I was sure I had ruined everything as I turned beetroot and broke out in a sweat. 

However, after the session, the course tutor approached me and asked if I would consider transferring to the TV Master's program, stating that I was a natural in front of the camera. I was SO embarrassed and I scuttled away to my writing desk to put my head down and get some peace.

But her comment must have stuck with me. Because years later it made me wonder: could I take this experience of showing up, despite my discomfort, and apply it to my business, pushing myself a little further out of my comfort zone? 

I enrolled in a video creation course recommended by a colleague. I started creating video content. Those early videos were so cringey So many more limiting beliefs flooded in —What the hell are you doing? You’re mad. Nobody is interested in listening to you! Everyone’s going to laugh at you! 

But I pushed through - using that same question - what is more important? Eventually, I found my feet. My audience loved my videos and I actually enjoyed creating them. 

Embracing Authenticity: The Key to Success as a Neurodivergent Entrepreneur

I wouldn’t have had the success I did as a Life Coach without putting myself out there and saying: Hey this is me, this is who I am and this is what I stand for.

If we’re not going to pay for ads ( I never have) we do need to be showing up regularly and putting ourselves out there - authentically. As a regular reader, you’ll know I don’t recommend ND entrepreneurs use social media.

These are the most effective options:

• Blogging (this includes Substack)

• YouTube Videos

• SEO 

And yeah we might get rejected, and yes people might laugh at us, but is this more important than our own success?

Making the Conscious Decision to Embrace Your Power and Potential

Breaking free from the vicious cycle of doubting ourselves and staying small requires a conscious, intentional decision to embrace our power and potential, even when it feels uncomfortable. 

I’m not talking about feeling so uncomfortable we’re feeling terror here. We must always tend to our nervous system first. I’m talking about those things that might give us butterflies, not anxiety. Unless you have a high tolerance for anxiety and if you do, then go for it.

My personal journey of overcoming limiting beliefs and embracing my authentic self is not unique. Like most neurodivergent women entrepreneurs, I've struggled with self-doubt, fear of rejection, and the temptation to play small. 

But through self-reflection, personal growth, and the support of mentors and coaches, I've learned that these challenges are not insurmountable. By sharing my story, I hope to inspire you to recognise that you, too, have the power within you to break free from the limitations that hold you back and claim the success and fulfilment you deserve.

Identifying Areas Where You May Be Playing Small 

So, I invite you to ask yourself? How are you playing small in your business?

 Are you?

• Unconsciously not finishing projects (courses, videos, blog posts, a book, your website) so you don’t have to put them out there and face failure or rejection?

• Not showing up as your authentic self for fear of being rejected?

• Scared of charging what your services are worth because you don’t feel worthy inside?

• Not showing your face online due to insecurity?

• Not telling people you meet in real life what it is you do?

Or maybe you have limiting beliefs that you need to work on around money, receiving, work, your capabilities or achieving.

What we believe to be true is true. 

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right." Henry Ford.

You're Not Alone: Neurodivergent Women Breaking Free from Limitations

You’re not alone in this struggle. Most neurodivergent women face these challenges.

By reaching out for support, developing a strong sense of self-trust, and taking small steps towards growth each day, you can begin to break free from the limitations of staying small and step into your full potential as a woman who’s no longer prepared to accept breadcrumbs.

 We are the quiet ones, yes, but never mistake our quietude for weakness or smallness.

 Playing and staying small is not an inevitable consequence of being a quiet, neurodivergent woman. 

 Our specific qualities as neurodivergent women are precisely what set us apart. We bring a fresh perspective, a keen eye for detail, and a depth of understanding that can't be found in the noise and haste of the mainstream.

Taking Action Towards Claiming Your Abundance

I invite you to take that first step towards claiming your abundance. Start by identifying one area where you've been playing small and commit to taking action, no matter how small, to break free from that limitation. Whether it's finishing that project, showing up more authentically, or raising your prices, trust that each step you take is bringing you closer to the thriving, fulfilling business you deserve. 

We are worthy of so much more than breadcrumbs. It’s time to claim the feast.

If you find yourself in need of guidance and support as you navigate the path to a thriving, sustainable business, I invite you to take advantage of my low-cost business audit if you haven’t already done so.

This is an opportunity to gain clarity on your challenges and opportunities, and to develop a customised plan that will help you generate a meaningful income without sacrificing your wellbeing. 

Some other posts you'll like:

1. I Wouldn't Be Successful Without Help From Others
2. Why Proactive Rest is a Great Strategy for Neurodiverse Women
3. The Two Women Inside Me: Navigating Life with AuDHD (Autism & ADHD)
4. Why We Need To Overcome Shiny Object Syndrome