Why I'm Skipping Christmas as a Neurodiverse Woman: 9 Reasons It Doesn't Align with My Brain
Dear neurodiverse women,
As a late-discovered neurodivergent woman, I've made the decision to skip Christmas altogether. This choice has been years in the making, and I want to share with you why Christmas may not align with our unique brains.
Firstly, the sensory overload of bustling crowds, flashing lights, incessant holiday music, and multiple social gatherings can leave us utterly drained. The constant barrage of stimuli is overwhelming, and we find ourselves yearning for the solace of a quiet, dimly lit room.
Moreover, the holidays disrupt our daily schedules, which can be unsettling and anxiety-inducing for those of us who thrive on consistency. The pressure to participate in traditions and celebrations that don't resonate with our personal views or comforts is challenging and can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment.
Travel during peak periods and navigating stressful environments disrupt our routines and introduces unpredictability. This leads to over-planning and heightened anxiety, especially when poor weather and overburdened public transport systems make it a miracle if everything goes smoothly.
Family dynamics and interactions can become strained during the holidays, highlighting unresolved tensions. The emotional peaks of the season are difficult to manage, especially when our feelings don't align with the external cheer or when someone is chewing loudly in our ears.
As neurodivergent women, we may have specific dietary preferences and routines that help us feel safe. Shared meals with foods we don't enjoy, at times we don't usually eat, can be a challenge. We're left with the choice of not joining in (and feeling excluded) or joining in (and feeling discomfort and resentment).
Sleep disruptions from parties and irregular schedules interfere with our perfectly concocted sleep patterns. The resulting fatigue heightens our sensitivity to stressors and makes us feel like we're continually starving.
Scents from cleaning products, air fresheners, scented candles, cooking fat, perfume, and gifted bath products can make our brains implode and, at worst, blur our vision.
Social protocols around mistletoe or greeting someone we haven't seen in a while are perplexing. The ambiguity in expected behaviour—hugging, kissing, waving awkwardly—can be excruciating, especially when we shy away from touching others.
The task overwhelm of planning meals, buying food, coordinating schedules, decorating, shopping for gifts, and wrapping gifts—all with a deadline—is so overwhelming and pressurising. The to-dos drown out our ability to focus and enjoy anything at all.
As a neurodivergent woman, I've decided to spend Christmas Day doing what brings me authentic joy and contentment. There's a huge relief in finally letting go of what doesn't serve us, even when it's deeply ingrained in societal expectations. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is simply say 'no' to what everyone else considers normal.
If you're a neurodiverse woman struggling with the expectations and pressures of Christmas or any holiday season, know that you're not alone. It's okay to prioritise your wellbeing and create new traditions that align with your unique needs and values.
Some other posts you'll like:
- I Wouldn't Be Successful Without Help From Others
- Why Proactive Rest is a Great Strategy for Neurodiverse Women
- The Two Women Inside Me: Navigating Life with AuDHD (Autism & ADHD)
- Why We Need To Overcome Shiny Object Syndrome
